ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
