Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
