So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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