I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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