How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize