Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
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Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
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Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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