Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize