$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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