You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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