Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
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