When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
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Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
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There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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