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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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