So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
