please come you make the beer taste better
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
