i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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