Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
