i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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