If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
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Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
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thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize