toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
