shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
