What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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