I'm drive I can fine osifer
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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