Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
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