apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
