and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I enjoy the company of your penis
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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