guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I don't deserve a penis
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
