weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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