So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
