hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize