guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
