we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
