if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
