Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize