you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
