am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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