HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize