did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
