do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
