I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
We have so much sex to catch up on
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
