Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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