They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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