Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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