i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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