Having a random hookup so left but love u
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
