I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize