Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
