How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
