Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
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