is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize