My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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