I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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