You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
