I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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