i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize