talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
