i permit you to call me
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
