bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
